Friday, September 7, 2012

#Granholming is the New Demotactic

Where to begin in looking back at the last night of the DNC. It was sort of like an excursion to many different fantasy-lands (Neverland, Oz, Utopia, Nirvana), with a side-trip to a high school pep-rally. Let's start with the pep rally from the dark side.

Now, I don't know much about Jennifer Granholm beyond the following.
  1. She is the former Governor of Michigan who was succeeded by a Republican governor elected to clean up the mess Granholm created by driving the state so far into debt that the main industry -- automobiles-- had to be bailed out by the federal government. (You will hear Granholm cheer about this in the DNC video clip below-- cheering fanatically about Obama using taxpayer dollars to save the industry that she drove into the ground starting in 2002. No wonder she goes crazy for him.) 
  2. She was born in Canada, but if she goes to Hawaii she can get a birth certificate so she can assert that she is a natural born citizen and make her own presidential run in four years. As long as Nancy Pelosi is still around, she will certify Granholm passes Constitutional muster, despite proof to the contrary. 
  3. She won a beauty pageant in her younger years, and she was not raked over the coals for that part of her history the way that the former female governor of Alaska was when she burst onto the national scene 4 years ago.
  4. She failed as an actress in her early twenties while living in California, so she can feel right at home amongst the ranks of all the numerous other losers in Hollywood who support Barack Obama.
  5. She has a Hollywood hubby named Daniel Mulhern, so those Hollywood hotshot supporters of Obama come naturally to her.
  6. She graduated from Harvard Law School, so it is natural that she would support her fellow Harvardian, Barack Obama and their bundling buddy Nicole Lamb-Hale.
  7. The Democrats cannot stand that Clint Eastwood spawned a new term -- #Eastwooding -- so they copied conservatives on Twitter to say they are "#Granholming," even though many already were stark-raving mad lunatics before Granholm went on display last night. (See Howard Dean reference below.)
  8. She looked like this last night during her speech:

Can you say "aneurysm"? The crowd went wild. I think it was the wild animal effect. You know how people cheer when they see a wild animal trained to do tricks. If that's #Granholming, then she is right at home in her party.

So, here is the video of Granholm last night, mercifully edited down to only 4 minutes (or your head probably would explode).

Lastly, when I heard Granholm's speech from last night, I was reminded of Howard Dean's famous squeal in 2004 in Iowa when he LOST the caucus. Someone beat me to the draw, and put together this hilarious video below. It puts Granholm's lunacy into context. Years (months/days) from now her rantings will be the stuff that jokes are made of!


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