I wish I could claim credit for this schedule for the opening day of the upcoming DNC in Charlotte this week. However, I found it in a comment to an article on Breitbart.com. Kudos to Mr_Charlie. It it a riot!
2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule -- Charlotte, N.C.
4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM - Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama.
4:15 PM - Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama.
4:30 PM - Tips on "How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world" - Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM - Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson seminar "How to have a successful career without having a job."
5:00 PM - "Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime Travel Log" - Michelle Obama.
5:30 PM - Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM - Tribute to All 57 States - Nancy Pelosi
6:00 PM - Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.
8:30 PM - Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM - "Bias in Media - How we can make it work for you" Tutorial - sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
9:15 PM - Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO - Michael Moore
9:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM - Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers.
10:30 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
11:00 PM - Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration/You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies
11:15 PM - Free Gov. Blagovich rally
11:30 PM - Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM - Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish - Obama Presiding
12:00 AM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris "He sends a thrill up my leg" Matthews
12:01 AM - Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM - Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech